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I’m finally falling in love for all the right reasons, with the right person – myself.

When you are living to someone else’s standards, you never know how you’re measuring up until you ask them.  I’ve spent my entire life living for someone else – a significant other mostly, my parents secondly and society as a whole has definitely added her requirements to my definition of success and happiness.   It seems I have always been looking outside of myself for approval, for a frame of reference. He gave me one.

I sought my peace within our union.  If we were getting along, my life was perfect.  If things were rocky between us, so was everything in my life.  I had no foundation.  My emotions were destroying my essence.  It seemed as if I had lost who I was or I had never known her at all.  I tried to think back to when it was just me.  I tried to remember who I was before I was re-programmed to be his woman.  I had been re-programmed a couple times.  With every new relationship, I re-molded.  At times, I felt there was no room for me – the real me.  I felt suffocated in my own skin; I felt panic.  I frantically flipped through pages of my bible to find…anything.  I found this:  Isaiah 41:10 – So do not fear, for I am with you.  Be not dismayed for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you.  I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” 

I broke the passage down until I could hear God’s voice talking directly to me.  He was comforting me.  He knew I was lost, scared, frantic, lacking, empty.  He told me not to be afraid that He was right there with me and that He wasn’t going to release me until I felt better.  I breathed Him in. He eased my heart.  Dismayed is defined as alarmed, apprehensive, troubled, perplexed, suddenly disappointed, anxious.  He didn’t want me to feel the slightest bit of uneasiness.  Why?  I am with you.  Why are you worried when I am your God?  If you can’t handle it, I will strengthen you and help you.  I will give you favor, bless and increase you.  I am everything you need and I am standing right here. 

His voice was still and clear, yet powerful and intense.  I cried.  I couldn’t help but be overwhelmed by His presence.  I thought, God you must have a million and one things to do more important than this.  Instantly, I was corrected.  You are the only thing in this world that really matters.  When all is stripped away, there will be Me, and there will be you.  And for me, that is already so.  I created all things, but you, you are the sweetest.  My Father adores me.  He loves everything about me.  I have the stamp of approval from the Man of all men.  If I be re-molded, it will be by His hands only.  And who on earth can disapprove of what God has already deemed worthy? 

My Father loves me.  I know, because He told me. 

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