Today, I woke up tired of the same ol', same ol'. I get very rebellious when I feel like I'm running on the "hampster" wheel. Some people do retail therapy, some people pull the covers over their head and stay in bed, when they don't want to deal with this world. I like to set a bomb off in my life and see where things lie when the dust settles. That's what happened the last time I felt like this. I woke up one Tuesday morning and instead of driving to my job at UCLA Health in Santa Monica, California, I kept driving down the 10 Freeway until I reached Las Vegas, Nevada. The best way I could describe what happened was that I felt like I was suffocating, and I had to make some space in my life, so I could breathe again.
Well, that's fine when you're young, unmarried, and no children. That is not okay when you're hitched and you have little ones looking up to you. So, how do I get the same effect of creating space in my life, when I don't have the freedom to quit my job, move across states, and start anew? And the vacation days I requested are just not coming quick enough on the calendar? And my list of to-do's keep piling up annoyingly?
Now is not time for the cliche responses we're used to: I turn on some light music, close my eyes and get re-centered; I do something nice for myself or someone else (however, doing something nice for someone else, is always a quick emotional-fix guarantee). I take a walk (gosh, I really do love this one, though!).
No, I need something more explosive. When you want to scream at the top of your lungs if someone else approaches you with their non-sense, you need more than a "woo-sah" moment. So, let's do the exact opposite, let's get fired up!! I mean, suit up, get on the field and knock someone out (figuratively). Take it all, head on, and without blinking. The Bible says, "No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us." Romans 8:37. "The Conquerors" sound like a bad ass team to me. I will curl into a ball and retreat tomorrow, maybe, if I still feel the need, but today, I'm going to play in the Superbowl of my life. I'm going to leave it all out there on the field. I'm going to get my intimidating growl on and go kill it. Lord, grant me your passion, because today, I'm fanning the flame and getting fired up.
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