Skip to main content

Just One More Drink


Don’t be drunk with wine because that will ruin your life, but be filled with the Holy Spirit… Ephesians 5:18

 
My battle with alcoholism has been a long and rough one.  It didn’t matter the hour and it didn’t matter the day, I would be down for a drink.  Everybody drinks, I thought.  How could I have a problem? I wasn’t doing anything out of the norm from what everyone else was doing.  However, alcohol had pernicious effects on my life.  Rarely, if ever, was I able to drink without going overboard.  Once I had the first drink, it was harder to turn down the next one.  I would often not stop drinking until I was forced to by passing out, or running out of time, because most places stopped selling alcohol at 2:00 a.m.  I blacked out often, never really remembering the events of the evening.  In the moment it would seem as though I was having the time of my life, yet the morning after I’d have to do a reconnaissance of the night and I wasn’t impressed. 

I was cast for a role in a Christmas play.  The night before the performance, I went out to a friend’s house for drinks and socializing.  I had only planned on staying a short while, and getting home to rest.  Well, it turned into an all-night affair. I’m still shocked at how long I stayed out, until 6:00 a.m. to be approximate.  The night of the performance, I was still hung over.  The message of the play was that Jesus is the reason for the season.  I fumbled in every scene I was in.  I forgot my lines and made a mess of the final scene of the play.  The director and writer were both disappointed and I let a lot of people down.  It really hit me then that I allowed a night of drinking to get in the way of doing something for Jesus.  The audience still applauded and said that the message still went forth.  God will have His Way.  As for me, I wallowed in my poor performance, still somehow thinking things were about me.  But no, this was bigger than me and if I was going to line up with God’s purpose, I would need to leave alcohol behind me.  It became a matter of life and death.  I could be delivered and live, or I could keep drinking and die.  My death could be physical through some drinking and driving car accident, or it could be spiritual through a relinquishing of my gifts and higher calling.  Either way, if I held on to alcohol, it would cost me. 

There wasn’t an immediate deliverance. Even after that, I still dabbled in drinking, a little more cautious at first and then less cautious as time passed.  I went to a bar one day after work, to enjoy a happy hour drink – just one I told myself.  One turned into three or four, I can’t remember exactly. I drove home that night. God watched over me still.  That was the last time I had a drink.  I didn’t quit drinking, I was delivered from it.  It wasn’t something I wanted to do, it was what I had to do. I wasn’t going to survive drinking.  It would’ve eventually taken me out, one way or another.  And all the merrier for the enemy who doesn’t want me to live or be happy anyway.  God had to step in and pull me out.  He had to show me that alcohol wasn’t my friend and it wasn’t the answer to anything I was seeking.  To those who are able to enjoy a drink and stop when you want to and be safe and level-headed about it, great.  I’m not saying having a drink is bad.  I’m sharing what I went through with alcoholism because it can be a serious issue and it can truly ruin your life.  Just because others do it doesn’t mean it’s for everyone. If you’re looking for something to be filled with, a high that relaxes your inhibitions and heightens your sense of well-being, try being filled with the Holy Spirit.  The fulfillment lasts longer and you won’t be as nervous driving through sobriety check points.     

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Why does God do it? Why does God put up with us?

We are some of the worst friends, daughters, sons, brothers, sisters.  We're so cynical and skeptical, that if someone is being "too nice" to us, we get suspicious that they want something from us.  We ask, "why is this person being so nice? I wonder what she wants?"  We can't fathom that someone would be extremely nice to us without having some type of agenda.  I think a lot of us look at God with that same sideways skepticism. Like, okay, so He sent His son to die on a cross for my sins, so that I might be saved.  And all He wants from me is to accept His salvation and allow Him to come into my heart? "But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in our transgressions - it is by grace you have been saved.  And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his gra...
Post a Comment
Read more

You Reap What You Sow

If you are lacking in any area of your life it is probably the area where you have been most selfish.   Remember, you must give in order to receive - and in that order. We must stop being so selfish, lest we block our own blessing. You can neither take from a clenched fist, nor deposit anything in it.       When we ask God for wisdom, patience, love, forgiveness, mercy or kindness, what we are really doing is asking God to give us opportunities where we can seek wisdom, have patience, show kindness, give love, offer forgiveness, be merciful and kind to others.   At that point, it is up to us to rise to the occasion and exhibit these characteristics.   We are a work in progress.   I asked the Lord for a triple portion of faith.   I want to believe God for miracles beyond marvel.   The bible says that if we have the faith of a mustard seed, we should be able to speak to a mountain and have it be moved.   Growing up, I wasn’t famili...
Post a Comment
Read more

Stop Expecting the blessing to be the Blesser

For lack of a better word and to prevent a miscommunication of the main concept, Blesser : refers to the Almighty God – Creator of Heaven and Earth; omnipotent and ever-present and powerful Being.   Blessing : refers to everything and every one God has ever placed in your life to increase your value and to provide you fulfillment.     Blessings are all around us. They take many shapes and forms.   Blessings flow from the Blesser.   Your spouse is a blessing.   Yet sometimes you may expect him to be your God.   You may be expecting your spouse to perform duties only God can perform for you.   You may be expecting your spouse to fill a void, an emptiness you feel when only the Blesser can satisfy those requests.   There is no wonder why there is so much strain on our relationships.   Do not be confused on where your provisions are truly coming from.   Your job is a blessing.   Whatever way you are being provided for economica...
Post a Comment
Read more