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Just One More Drink


Don’t be drunk with wine because that will ruin your life, but be filled with the Holy Spirit… Ephesians 5:18

 
My battle with alcoholism has been a long and rough one.  It didn’t matter the hour and it didn’t matter the day, I would be down for a drink.  Everybody drinks, I thought.  How could I have a problem? I wasn’t doing anything out of the norm from what everyone else was doing.  However, alcohol had pernicious effects on my life.  Rarely, if ever, was I able to drink without going overboard.  Once I had the first drink, it was harder to turn down the next one.  I would often not stop drinking until I was forced to by passing out, or running out of time, because most places stopped selling alcohol at 2:00 a.m.  I blacked out often, never really remembering the events of the evening.  In the moment it would seem as though I was having the time of my life, yet the morning after I’d have to do a reconnaissance of the night and I wasn’t impressed. 

I was cast for a role in a Christmas play.  The night before the performance, I went out to a friend’s house for drinks and socializing.  I had only planned on staying a short while, and getting home to rest.  Well, it turned into an all-night affair. I’m still shocked at how long I stayed out, until 6:00 a.m. to be approximate.  The night of the performance, I was still hung over.  The message of the play was that Jesus is the reason for the season.  I fumbled in every scene I was in.  I forgot my lines and made a mess of the final scene of the play.  The director and writer were both disappointed and I let a lot of people down.  It really hit me then that I allowed a night of drinking to get in the way of doing something for Jesus.  The audience still applauded and said that the message still went forth.  God will have His Way.  As for me, I wallowed in my poor performance, still somehow thinking things were about me.  But no, this was bigger than me and if I was going to line up with God’s purpose, I would need to leave alcohol behind me.  It became a matter of life and death.  I could be delivered and live, or I could keep drinking and die.  My death could be physical through some drinking and driving car accident, or it could be spiritual through a relinquishing of my gifts and higher calling.  Either way, if I held on to alcohol, it would cost me. 

There wasn’t an immediate deliverance. Even after that, I still dabbled in drinking, a little more cautious at first and then less cautious as time passed.  I went to a bar one day after work, to enjoy a happy hour drink – just one I told myself.  One turned into three or four, I can’t remember exactly. I drove home that night. God watched over me still.  That was the last time I had a drink.  I didn’t quit drinking, I was delivered from it.  It wasn’t something I wanted to do, it was what I had to do. I wasn’t going to survive drinking.  It would’ve eventually taken me out, one way or another.  And all the merrier for the enemy who doesn’t want me to live or be happy anyway.  God had to step in and pull me out.  He had to show me that alcohol wasn’t my friend and it wasn’t the answer to anything I was seeking.  To those who are able to enjoy a drink and stop when you want to and be safe and level-headed about it, great.  I’m not saying having a drink is bad.  I’m sharing what I went through with alcoholism because it can be a serious issue and it can truly ruin your life.  Just because others do it doesn’t mean it’s for everyone. If you’re looking for something to be filled with, a high that relaxes your inhibitions and heightens your sense of well-being, try being filled with the Holy Spirit.  The fulfillment lasts longer and you won’t be as nervous driving through sobriety check points.     

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